Solvitur Ambulando

An exert from “On Repair” by The Wander Society:

“Spend time observing the object to be repaired or mended: look at the tear, the hole, the worn area. Listen to it, feel it, be curious about it.
Go through the process of repair in your mind and keep your mind ready for an inspired thought or idea.
Gather your materials and tools.
Begin the repair.
Be slow, be attentive.
Take pauses,
Be attentive and focused about the motions you are making, feel the substance of the materials, be deliberate about your movements.
When your attention goes away, be tender and place it back on your work, on your body, on your materials and hands.
Be generous with your expectations about time.
Repair requires time…”

I have never read anything so close to the process of healing. All of the parts of myself that I dislike are direct results of not repairing the tear. Every time I’ve lashed out in anger, at myself or others, or for all of the times that I’ve hid behind a lie or compensated a feeling of loss by acquiring material things – all of this is because I wasn’t actively repairing. I was avoiding.

“Listen to it” is invaluable advice. It’s something my therapist used to tell me. As soon as we would get close to a traumatic memory, I would pullĀ  back, afraid to open myself back up to that pain. He used to tell me, “listen to your reaction, what does that tell you?”.

It’s okay to take time to repair your tears, holes, and worn areas. Even if other people don’t understand your pain, or your processes. It’s your divine right.